Instagrammable and Goddamn tasty – It’s Pi, Battersea

14 Apr 2019

I’m obsessed with looks. Woah now before you call me a narcissist (or a cow) I don’t just mean human faces, or specifically my face, I’m obsessed with the way everything looks. I love the old, the new, the pretty and the pretty ugly.

I’ve always been fascinated with aesthetic design, from crooked street signs to brutalist architecture to big gothic buildings, and that’s why I’m all about these Instagrammable restaurants.

I can’t get enough of millennial pink walls, flowered ceilings and bathrooms that house more trees than the Amazon. Is there any point in going anywhere these days if it won’t look good on the gram? I think not.

Pi Pizza, Battersea Rise, is definitely one of these restaurants. The blue herringbone tiles, the yellow velvet seats and the huge inside tree would make an enviable Instagram story or two. If I were Pi Pizza I’d place a mirror across the street just so I could stare at myself all day.

Aside from being beautiful, Pi Pizza is also known for its creative food; they have 12 and 20 inch pizzas with some of the most unusual toppings.

The problem with large food is it can often be disappointing. There is a shop outside South Kensington tube station with the largest pastries you ever did see. Seriously, the croissants are the size of a human head. While they look oh so appealing, I know from past experience they’re just no good. They’re the kind of thing that sucks all moisture from your mouth and leaves you overly-full, unsatisfied and thirsty. Which is why I had reservations about a pizza bigger than the size of Manhattan itself.

What I like about Pi Pizza is the menu. Obviously because it’s full of pizza I wanted to eat loads, but also because it’s so easy to navigate. It’s colour coded with little stickers telling you what’s vegan and what’s veggie. At first glance you might think the menu is trying to patronise you, but rest assured it’s totally necessary when the toppings are more creative than a Picasso and your Italian isn’t up to scratch.

Even the olives are a work of art, stuffed like a teddy bear and fried in bread crumbs (£4), they were the best I’ve ever eaten. Crispy and warm, it’s the olive experience I never thought I’d have, but the experience I’m desperate to have again. The artichoke heart on parmesan bruschetta (£5.50) was like a piece of modern art I just don’t get. You could judge the book by its cover here; they were plain looking and plain tasting.

My 12 inch pizza came out looking like it had complete confidence in itself, divided into two sides and decorated up to the nines with toppings. One side: mushroom, smoked provola cheese, pistachio cream and a barnet of green rocket. The other half: rosary goat’s cheese, caramelized onion and a head of crispy kale. The dough was soft, thin and crispy in all the right places and the toppings were as good as a puppy who’s just learnt to pee outside.

To clarify, Pi Pizza is wonderful, their dishes are creative and when it comes to looks? They won’t deceive you, it really is all that. Oh and since you begged, the pistachio cream topping just had to be my favourite.


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