Beach Food Memories that get FoodNoise Heading Straight for the Coast

12 Jul 2016

Oh, how I do like to be beside the seaside, oh I do like to be beside the sea.

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In all its glory, the sand in your pants, the arctic water temperatures, blown down windbreakers and the horrific t-shirt tan lines from the sun worshipper next door, a day at the British seaside, arguing with the family is a day well spent.

The 99’

Inflation makes this a sore topic, as for some time now the 99 has not been purchased for 99. Gone are the days that this machine produced ice-cream with a chocolate flake and monkey blood, served by a crouched over guy who probably doesn’t wash his hands when he uses the toilet, will give you change from a pound. However, we still love the stuff and so what if we have to pay an extra quid or two, it’s worth it.

Fish and Chips

At FN we are no strangers to this dish and despite the array of restaurants that serve this up from the 5-star hotels that garnish it with daisies and dandelions to the traditional pubs that make you grab your own cutlery, there is none that do it better than the seaside chippy. Then battling the elements on a seaside wall, fending the cod and vinegar soaked chips from hungry seagulls is exactly what it’s all about.

Ham Sandwiches

The art of a perfect ham sandwich is all about keeping things simple. Two pieces of cheap white bread, salted butter, wafer thin ham, and there we have it – Bob’s your uncle, Fanny’s your aunt. Don’t forget to cut it up into triangles and place it at the bottom of the bag so it gets squashed. The bits of sand that manage to get blown inside, despite the five metres of cling film used for protection just add an extra flair to this culinary masterpiece.


Nothing guarantees a trip to the dentist quite like a stick of candy-striped rock. There isn’t a kid in the land who wouldn’t want to spend the best part of three days chewing on a bit of Rhyl, Brighton or Blackpool (how the hell did they get the writing to go the whole way through?) producing digits stickier than chewy left on your shoe. The only thing more gnasher terrifying is the bright red dummies disguised with ribbon and that funny sheep cloud on a stick.

The Montague Beach Bar

London does its best to be everything to everyone, so it’s no surprise that it’s gone and got its very own beach available for private hire. The Montague hotel has hung up its skis and closed the lodge to make way for a brand spanking new beach bar. Occasional sun and shipped in sand make it the only place you’ll want to hang this summer and the ideal place to host a party for you and all your friends. The BBQ food and coconut cocktails can all be enjoyed under the thatched roof of the outside beach hut while a steel drum band play melodically in the background.

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